Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Guest Post: Rock and Roll Legends: 
Izzy and Ozzy—A Prevalence of Potty Problems

Check out this rockin guest post from Alice Morell!

Rock and Roll Legends: 
Izzy and Ozzy—A Prevalence of Potty Problems

    Sometimes the human creature finds itself obsessed with the basest of behaviors, somehow returning back to the animal brain demanding to mark its territory.  Sometimes it's alcohol that does it, sometimes it's perversity.  In the case of our favorite Rock Gods, maybe it's just a touch of the same insanity that makes them the pinnacles of riotous and anti-social behavior they are. Whatever the case, when thing get a little tense, or a Rocker wants to have a fun, how often a little urination comes into is, perhaps, reason for pause.  These next two stories have to do with instances of that exact thing, and how sometimes such a thing can come back to haunt you, yes, even as a Rock God, a long time later.

Hey Ozzy, Remember the Alamo?

    Back in the height of his career, while travelling with Black Sabbath, Ozzy found his way down to Texas to perform in a concert on his ‘Diary of a Madman’ tour.  The concert was a smashing success, and unsurprisingly, after the concert the band got smashed to an equivalent degree.  At some point during the night, Ozzy found himself down by the Alamo, and urinated on the Cenotaph across the street.  Ozzy himself admitted to having something of a predilection with defacing such things.  Now, fast forward years later, and Ozzy is now travelling as Osbourne, and sure enough he found his way down to that little corner of Texas again.  Well, this time the locals had gotten word that the Prince of Darkness had taken to defacing and peeing on such a thing, and a near riot broke out at his concert.  Ozzy saw it fit to apologize and pay $10,000 to the Daughters of the Alamo, those who were charged with taking care of the monument.   Next time, maybe he'd best find his way to an outhouse.
Stradlin the Thin Yellow Line

    We promised you two urine based stories, you twisted metal head you.  Sure enough, we're going to deliver.  Izzy Stradlin of Guns N' Roses found himself on a plane crossing the United States, and was rather eager to use the restroom on the plane.  It just so happened that, at the moment he desired to use it, it was occupied.  Most people faced with this situation would stand and dance awkwardly outside until the person inside finished their business.  Not Stradlin, no—instead, in true Rock God style, Stradlin saw it fit to drop his trousers and urinate right there in the galley area of the plane to the gasps and annoyance of both passengers and plane staff.  He was, of course, arrested on landing, and was forced to write an apology letter to the staff of the plane.

    Just like rock music can inspire the animal inside of us and cause us to riot against this pale thin veneer of civility we've painted over the human animal, so do the Rock Gods themselves live close to that line.  Powered by the adoration of millions and the money to pay away almost any violation of the status quo, these boys and girls of Rock have less fear of crossing the human/animal line then most, and out of this is born some of the more riotous and extreme behaviors of our favorite Rock Gods.
But perhaps that is the purpose they serve, to remind us that underneath all these trappings of civilization we're just animals playing house with propriety.  They serve as icons railing against the wall of humanity, demanding for us to remember our roots, run wild, and maybe, just maybe, to piss wherever we want sometimes.   A beast has to mark their territory once in a while, right?
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